Im a survivor..=)

I went through a miserable week....and I thought I might just collapes at anytime. I feared,I was depressed. Too many things to handle at the same time...

1)Assignments, reports,Vivas,Tests, Quiz,extra classes to finish up sylabbus..GosH,..too exhausting,I nearly nod off just thinking about it.

2) Heart failure seemed imminent when I first heard about Thambi.Still grieving on his loss. To put this aside and focus on studies...,hardest thing to do for this week.

3) Tonsil pain screwed me all over again.

4) Sleepless nights.

5) Too much writing resulted in neck strain,too much coffee resulted in stomach cramp.

6) Home is a mess now coz of the renovation and I wish could be there to help out.Mum isn't feeling well lately.

7) Final is starting next week ..the stress is just overwhelming.

Accomplishment:

 I survived this week. 

Yes,it was like hell. But,I still came out of it ALIVE.

A self-pat-on-the-shoulder..,I'm Strong.=)

Lesson learnt:

Everyone of us have our own problems.And most of it are nothing compared to that of many others.Merely complaining about it,solves none.

Sometimes,the best is to keep it all to ourselves and belief that we finally can get through it no matter how though it seem. And the only way to beat fear is to face it. 

Once Ms.Peter,my chemistry teacher in F6 told me,If we choose to avoid or run away from a problem,we'll have to keep running away for the rest of our life. And now,I understand..its true. GROWTH is most painful when we resist it.

Somethings are beyond our understanding. Often,we are left asking "Why??",and for these things,there seem to be no answers. Called it a divine plan,call it the natural unfolding of events,it is happening. Whether we like  it or  hate it,it is still happening.Sometimes,we take responsibility and sometimes we claim ourselves a victim,we fight it or we ignore it.... but it still happens. And it has been happening throughout of our lifes...We just can't stop it from happening. Above all,what matters is that,how we choose to take these things. 

Every event has the potential to transfrom us.Be it a disaster.

We face the challenge. And we come out alive.

And we become the best of philosopher ever then..lol xD

# 3 more weeks to go..,I believe I can get through it and then,that too will pass. =)

RIP Elanggovan@Thambi..

Guard slashed to death by masked men

By DESIREE TRESA GASPER
desiree@thestar.com.my

JOHOR BARU: A security guard manning his post at a neighbourhood here was slashed to death by a group of masked men armed with parang.

S. Elanggovan, 19, was chatting with his friend, known only as Vino, in Bukit Indah 2 at around 4.30am yesterday when the men drove up in a black MyVi.

They darted towards Elanggovan and Vino and started to slash them.

Vino, 32, is now fighting for his life at a hospital here.

He had managed to run away from the attack but Elanggovan fell while trying to escape and was slashed repeatedly on his head and body.

He died on the spot in front of a row of shops along Jalan Bukit Indah 25/1. The assailants then fled in their car.

A relative of the victim, who only wanted to be known as Shan, said that the family was at its wits’ end as to why the men were attacked.

“Elanggovan had told us two days ago that he had stopped to check a group of men who were circling the Bukit Indah 2 area,” he said.

Nusajaya OCPD Supt Noor Hashim Mohamad said that police were investigating the incident.

So,what the hell is wrong with people????????????????LIFE...,has gone thaatt easy?

You know,sometimes..I wish the world could have just ended in 2012. 

p/s: Thambi, though I don't know you any personally, I would tell you...you are one person who are loved by many... I don't think my brother will ever forget how you were to him...You both were so gayish towards each other....=)

" Mohan anne...,I miss you ne..Dn't leave me,Pls....I lub u so much,,..MMuuuuaaahhxx!!!(kissed bro's cheek while acting like sobbing)"

Bro: "I lub u too bee !" 

Me: Yeeeeuuuuwwwww.Gays! (disgusted)

So fresh in my mind.

You left just like that,too much for us all to bear.

The first time I met you, you were that very hardworking boy at 19 ,I  always felt proud looking at you.

You don't deserve this.Really.

RIP Thambi.

Good grief, Sandra.

I have a lot issues to talk about,but then again, out of a sudden...I think blog is no longer a safer place to pour out everything....yeah,PEOPLE....they only listen to what they want to hear,and only see what they want to see.

Mother..,we define for ourselves.

So,we all busy appreciating our own mothers in FB and we forgot that there are some who have no idea who on Earth is their mother...
and we busy talking about how much we are loved and how much our mothers have sacrified for us...,forgetting that there's someone who always wondered why their mother did'nt want to own them.
Being trashed like a rubbish, or sent to orphanage or being abused.....you know.

For these people, on this special day...I pray that you'll never have to feel unfair about life and that you too have someone,something that been a reason for why you did'nt want to give up on life. That someone who always made you want to live.Be it your wife,your daughter,a friend or even a pet. 
It does'nt matter actually. A mother does'nt always have to be a women or the person whose belly you came from.
Just a person . Who can provide you the love and when you look into their eyes,you know that this person is someone who is worth living for.And with these people around, who shaped and nurtured you to become who you are today....,appreciate them and love them with all your heart. For...they are your MOTHER.........=)

My heartfelt wishes for all mothers out there..
HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY.

And here goes the superwoman...,
the one reason why I never taught of giving up in my life....=)

MOM-ENTOUS MOM-ENTS...........

A good life,a good death.

Departured with dignity.

¬RIP  Periappa.

(09/05/13)

Uncles....

Was waiting for bus as usual,got completely showered by heavy rain...and another encounter.
A discern looking,with a formal wearing Indian man of about forty  approached me.

Man: Excuse me gal.....
Me: Yes.
Man: Any bus going to Jln.Ipoh here?
Me: Ya,..you can take Metro11 or U6. Just wait right here.
Man: Oh ok,thank you.
Me: [shook my head]

After about 15 mins....
Man: So,you are a student?
Me: I am.
Man: You are wet.Forgot to bring your umbrella?
Me: Exactly.
Man: Just thought of asking you something....Would you like to join a "Beauty Competition"??
[which i heard as "DJ Competition"..,having my ear-piece on]

Me: What?"DJ competition"?
Man: No,beauty competition.Im owning a saree company and currently we are organising this event and looking for preety girls as models.
Me[ in head]: Lol.xD .has he looked close enough at my face????Must be kidding.#

Me: Oh ok....sorry uncle,im not interested.
Man: why not? Just give a try..I notice you have beautiful, attractive eyes and nice body shape...im sure you'll look good in saree.Between,don't call me uncle.Im still young.
Me [in head]: Oh man.,you are flirting??? 
                      I wish I can tell you what my shoe size is.

Me: No thx, UNCLE,Not interested still.Anyway,my father is waiting for me on the other side.I go to go now.
Man: Wait,not so fast.I don't want to miss you.[with an annoying smile]
Me: Bye. [walked off with a sarcastic smile]

The requestion is......
What is it, that make Uncles want to be dirty with  daughter-like girls???? 
GOSH.
PERVERTS.

For a better Malaysia..

I don't think it's right to say that the previous government didn't improve out lives a little They definitely did. Its just the corruption.
We should'nt allow ourselves to be spoon fed in everything.It makes us not to work hard to improve our lives.

But the struggle that a parent has to go through to put their children in universities,..I think in most cases...,we children are all they have left in the end.
I ain't asking for a free education.Education has a VALUE.

I'm just asking for 100% PTPTN loan.
Now,Is that too much to ask for?

No party is PERFECT. So who am I voting for????????????????

¬PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL. =)

I've forgotten what it is like to have a normal sleeping pattern.Gosh!..At the moment,I can die of stress. Rescue me God.

Lesson learnt

 

Last week, I was on my way back from my hostel,and experienced something that I shall be shamed of...
As I was waiting for my bus at lebuh Ampang,there was a midle-aged India man,who walked across me with a stick and  glasses on his eyes...He was blind indeed.
I ignored him at first,but could'nt get my eyes of him as he was nearing a divider,then a drain...I thought I should lend him a hand,but there were many others who pretended they never see him. I hesitated for a while,trying to figure out what possibilities could take place:

1) He might be acting ( which i noe is very cruel to think such way)
2) He might just snatch my bag and fleed when I try to assist him. (the world is no longer a safe place)
3) What if he splash acid on me? (which seems like an utterly ridiculous thing to say in this case)
4) Even if I were to help him,the society ain't gonna think good of me. Perhaps,they would label me as an attention seeker and that im trying to create a scene. (what more he's an indian).

My mind was so busy wondering if I shall help or not...but I could'nt make myself move still.
He was too close to the drain by then..For a moment,my chest freezed,ached for breath.
This time,I could'nt resist the urge to make my first step...but before I could proceed..there was this another man from I don't know which corner,got a grip of the blind man's hand and rescued him from the danger.
Guiltiness eluded me.
 What if everybody else were thinking like how i did? and  What if the poor man fell meanwhile, i was still hesitating? Could I have slept peacefully at night?  How could I be so selfish and simple-minded at that time when someone needed help.That was like so inhumane ...,.to care about what others will think of me. I should'nt have cared.

I'm not sure if I wud have taken my next stepS at that instant. Im just glad that someone else did. 
There are still some good souls existing here and there in this world. 
~ FORGIVE ME GOD.

A lie,is a lie.

Some people lie so much till they start believing in their own made-up stories. Amazing,yet...be it big,small,or a white lie.....a lie is a lie.
I can forgive and I can forget.But I'll remember just one thing. I'll remember not to trust a SHRINK again...
coz,you are'nt messing with someone who have trusted you,but one who would WANT to trust you no matter what. I think there's a vast difference in these.

Sadly,this time I'm ain't expecting you to understand this either...coz if you could,you first lie would have been the last.

p/s: If you have the heart to lie to someone,pls do not tell that you love them with all your heart.Coz.........

 

It is static when one remain rooted in their beliefs. No calls,no messaging,no chatting,....means End of Friendship?
SICK.
GBU.

My classmates said that I've turned so naughty in this semester and that they never thaught I can talk like this.....OMG,true self revealed after a year..got to cover up back again..Mask required. Lol

Needing to explain/espress ,simply because you don't want a person to have false impression....at some point,somewhere,for a proper reason..you'd know if its even worth your effort. Lol

So..,yeah..Im choosing to take no further effort.Not anymore.Coz certain things loses its meaning if it has to be expressed. Its enough that I know.

Well,..expecting others to understand you,does'nt make you an artist you see...=)

let things go on the flow...as it should.As per His plan. Take it easy policy.=p

 

Late but worth mentioning..=)

It's a pretty long read, so if you make it to the end I'll give an advanced thank you.=)

For the past few weeks, I've been sitting here -- typing, backspacing, erasing, editing, revising-- pouring your heart out isn't very easy right?...I have so much to share,but when i try to put it all into words,it's as if my vocabulary has shrunk.Amazing though how writing comes so  naturally,like blinking eyes, when im in rage..=p...

Well,we have all sucessfully stepped into 2013..and it's  already almost 3 months now to our own surprise..that's like really very fast...I've been surviving for two decades and 2 years now,like a living miracle.Lol =p...ok,I know..its not really a miracle,people live for hundred years..,im just being grateful for my life...[exaggerated though] =p

Oh well.. to recap my life in 2012 in quarters because yes, I am that lazy uninspired.=D  It's been tough for me to write because I am too busy and occupied...being HOME. [grin]...Currently,its my semester break...and so im working as a full time housewife HOUSEDAUGHTER,without a pay.It's heavenly though...things would'nt be the same in years to come....so,I'm  appreciating each moment now,while I still have. =)

Last year was'nt really a good year for me,but im grateful still that I survived..I struggled a lot in the journey of getting myself into my degree.I finally did somehow.

Goodbye FHS

I miss my foundation life alot...i managed to bag plenty of good people as my friends during that one year..I personally learned a lot from each of them.At the beginning of year 2012,.I literally could'nt compute in my brain that these special people could be somewhere else from me.

Image source:Aswini..=p

Well,after the last few weeks together,I could imagine that anyhow.We got to accept changes right...?...Best things don't remain for long.I'm the type who usually built resistance around myself to prevent people getting close,forming deep emotional attachments with me.I don't know exactly why I do that..it's a hard-to-say-thing....maybe that's why I'm always fine with seperation. =) 

However,it quickly became all too clear that this bond,especially between four of us,so called "sister's by heart,partners in crime",is not easily detached.It was little hard to say Goodbye.In fact,"somebody" seemed to suffer acute seperation trauma after the farewell. Lol =p ...
Well,its all a normal thing...,they call it "TRANSFERENCE NEUROSIS'...The bond between people who share deep experiences.
Did I just sounded as if an expert psychologist..ceeehhhh.=p
See,we all try to act smart sometimes...So did I.

Sometimes,somethings are really hard to define..,i'll rather just take it all as a blessing.Thanks for all the great times and lessons you girls have given me up to this moment.And I'll never forget each of you for my entire life.This is a promise.=)
Friends Forever¬

I've stored all your memories in here......

and it will be treasured ..=)

Bachelor of Pharmacy

Pharmacy...,I don't know if I belong here,among all the brainy people...it feels as if grabbing at a straw till now.=(  Im like a wreck at the end of each day in college.And after each exams,i feel as if there's a massacre of brain cells occured,so damaged , that  there are times where,i've thought i'm gonna be retarded for the rest of my life. Lol =D...I laugh to myself sometimes.It's funny,challenging and thrilling at the same time.
Well,I hope I can do it.I suppose i'll just keep plodding on and see what happens.It's like a wait-and-see game.




Family Events

There was a new member in my family last year.The parents gave him the name Kesavan,and we named him 'toyol'...wa,ka,ka..

And there goes his stunts.......

And that's his very beautiful teeth.....

INtro.....

K7 was coincidently met by my mum in a Home in kajang.He was  suffering from some sort of skin allergies and my mum felt that he needed more attention and care any more than what they could afford to give him in that home.So,she adopted him and personally contacted the mother if she still wants her child.Unfortunately,that lady could'nt afford to take care of her son and so my mum decided to own him...with a condition,that the family can take him back within the period of one year.Anytime after that,he'll belong to us officially.That's a diplomatic agreement..,was'nt it?

This is the brief story of him...there are  more details to it of course ,but this is all you need to know.=)
He left as soon as the school holiday started in November.Im back being the youngest in my family.Like a princess. [grin].
The end.

Someday,we will meet him back as a grown up person.....                                                I guess someone like him...

Don't you think so..???? =)



This kid was a blessing to us...and missing him is a sure thing.=)

One member left,and the another two came into our lives....
Introducing...Mr.Preve (11 Nov 2012) and Mr.Myvi (15 Feb 2013).....Mr.Wira is aging.He really seem to be tired and weary these days.So,we've got two juniors to share his responsibilities and lessen his burden. Three of them are truly our heroes.

And Yeah.... Im the Father of these kids...=p

Goodbye 

Out of many deaths last year,there were one significant and this women, I can never forget for who she was to me. I don't exactly know why,but whenever she sees me,she'll get so emotional,hugs me so tight till i suffocate and wets my face with her kisses..in a way that was almost comic,her kisses everytime misses my cheeks,and land on my nose.. ROFL =D .
then she'll continue with her ever touchy lines...like...' OMG,'look how much you've grown''...''Appadiya Jega photostate inthe ponnu''..
My reaction:huh???biar betul....=p
I always wondered if I look like a man to her eyes,or that my father looked like a girl..lol..I may inherit his characteristics maybe ,but "photostat" is like overly exaggerated though.=p..but ok,you should'nt be questioning or making fun of sentiments you see. They are not fake afterall.=)
She was the one again who told me once that .."your father used to speak of this little girl so often,almost everytime".And there I go not knowing how to react,but to grin like a clown.he,he =D I feel so proud and flattered of course,but being the centre of attention is still AGONY,no?... 

Unfortunately,the Big C again took her away from us...leaving behind so much of memories.Seriously,my father must have been really lucky to have such a motherly teacher in his life.Her words still stand alone as if  she had said them directly to me in a vacuum where only the two of us exist.I've wrapped the parcel of words in my mind and will treasure it forever,because they are really very special to me.

We love you Atte,and may you rest in peace.=)

In 2012 also,I do have encounters where people helped me out when I needed a push in life.Be it a word of encouragement,a pat on my shoulder or trust they put on me,that I can do better next time......those are significant things which truly matters. I always make sure that these acts are forever instilled in me so that I will be forever grateful of some small little things in life.


 And yea,as I said earlier....I guess its just the quarter of what happened in 2012. Will take my entire holiday if i were to write everything in detail...,so im letting the pictures to tell the rest of the story.=)  Thanks for your patience. Lol. xD


January

The last day of my foundation life..

March

Mother's 50th Birthday...

B.Pharm

My New Hostel

My new housemates..

View from by bed..=)

May



The Reunion of  Partners in Crime

August

My Birthday Surprise celebration...

By Partner's in crime and my housemates...

By fellow classmates.........

By my family..........

November

Sister's graduation

With her bestie

Ambik kesempatan ni..

Best promo for colgate..=p





Children's Day Out


                                            Fuyooo...


                                This is Kambathu Madonna...


Sadly,these days,your children have gone a bit twit Dad..
You'll know why.....


                             definitely posing...


               Omm yean thombi buthi valaranum swaha........










                 





                   Tails are a miss for both of them..=p

                marching...left,righ,left,right...











 

Saw????? I told you......they've all gone a bit twit....

anyhow,it's fun...and who'll know. =)

Grown by age, kids by heart.

Deepavalli

Why this colour????

Yeah....!!! Baju raya.

New Borns

 

Marriage

BEEN THERE,DONE THAT.

¬The Ending Chapter of 2012    

If you ask me whats my resolution for this year...,i have no idea what to say because,I take resolutions every 24hrs...,not 365 days.
Hmmmmm,well,I want to be just grateful for this year,because many of us had the doubt if the world might end in 2012.Call it divine intervention,or coincidential science,we are still living.I think that's all should matter in the end.

Looks like im really turning to be so philoshophical sometimes isn't it???? lol B)

You got to trust me okay,it comes naturally without me having to try hard..."COPYRIGHT RESERVED" =)
But anyway,I guess growing really make me think differently about things in life.Everyday I wake up,feeling thankful and blessed that I have great people around me to nurture and shape me to be who I am today.
Heartfelt thanks to all of you.=)
With that,
Thanks for dropping by...and again for your patience.

*this is a delayed publish