14 THINGS INTROVERTS STILL WISH YOU UNDERSTOOD

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If you ever needed an excuse to stay home and do nothing, today you have it. Today is World Introvert Day (Jan. 2), and this “holiday” is all about relaxing and recovering from the exhausting social activities of the previous month.

Although not an official holiday, World Introvert Day has been enthusiastically celebrated by introverts since 2011. It began when psychologist Felicitas Heynewrote this post calling for a day to raise awareness about introversion, because introverts tend to feel marginalized and overlooked in a society that seems geared for extroverts.

Introversion has gotten a lot of positive attention lately, but many introverts still feel misunderstood. Here are 14 things we still wish people understood about us:

1. Just because we’re not talking doesn’t mean we’re upset or depressed. Introverts tend to be thinkers rather than talkers. We don’t enjoy making small talk and we prefer to speak only when we really have something to say. If we go quiet on you, don’t take it personally.

2. We like people. Many of us have active social lives. When we’re in our element — and with people we know well — we may even be mistaken for extroverts. However, we get mentally drained (and sometimes even physically tired) from socializing, whereas extroverts feel energized by it. After hanging out, we need a few hours (or days) of downtime to recover.

3. Sometimes we need to separate ourselves from others. We could spend hours (or days) alone and not get bored, because being alone means we get to do what introverts do best — tune in to our inner world. Finally we can relax and do things our way. We’re under no obligation to others and we can stop worrying about what they think and if they’re judging us. Alone time lets us concentrate on our projects and solo hobbies (like reading, writing, art, home improvement, gaming, etc.) without interruptions. We can hear our own inner voice and pay attention to our own feelings — not someone else’s. Being alone is freedom.

4. It’s easier to write our thoughts than explain them out loud.Writing allows us to edit our words and express exactly what we mean, whereas coming up with the right words on the spot in a conversation can be hard. Think texting instead of a phone call, and journaling instead of explaining. There’s a scientific explanation for this: introverts rely more on long-term memory than short-term memory (whereas extroverts use short-term memory more), and it takes longer to retrieve the specific words we want from long-term memory. If we “umm” and “ahh” and pause between our words, don’t let this diminish what we say.

5. We’d rather have a few close relationships than a lot of shallow ones. It’s about quality over quantity. If we’re going to invest in a relationship, we want it to be good, because we have limited “social” energy.

6. We might be awkward at making small talk. Talking about the weather or our weekend plans doesn’t interest us, so we avoid small talk whenever possible (although savvy introverts recognize the utility of small talk and know they can use it as a gateway to more interesting conversation). We’d rather talk about ideas or deeper topics: what’s something you’ve learned lately? What are your hopes, dreams, and fears?

7. It makes us feel self-conscious when you point out how quiet we are. We already know we’re quiet, so you bringing it up is just another painful reminder of how we’ve tried our whole lives and often failed to be more social and fit in. Rather than telling us we’re quiet, ask us questions to draw us out. Introverts crave connections with others but we may need help starting conversations. Above all, accept our reserved nature as part of who we are.

8. We work best alone. Forget group projects. We’d rather work on our own in a quiet environment with few interruptions. Interestingly, research suggeststhat whether you’re an introvert or extrovert, simply being around another person sucks up a certain amount of the brain’s attention, making some tasks harder. To introverts, this comes as no surprise.

9. It takes us a while to feel comfortable around new people. We’ve been accused of being aloof or snobbish when meeting new people but this couldn’t be further from the truth. We simply open up slowly. When we’re comfortable with you, our real personality comes out.

10. Parties and other social events can be sensory overload. The noise and activity level can be too much, especially for highly sensitive introverts, who are more easily stressed out by busy environments and intense stimuli. For shy or socially anxious introverts, just meeting new people and making small talk can be nerve-wracking. If we skip the party or leave early, don’t take it personally.

11. Too much attention overwhelms us. Even positive attention — like when our friends sing happy birthday to us in a crowded restaurant — can be too much. We’ll put on a brave face, but inside we might be cringing.

12. We dislike talking about ourselves. We tend to be private. We don’t like sharing personal details with other people until we trust them. We’ll talk about ourselves if we have to, but we might be uncomfortable while doing it.

13. We think. A lot. We have rich inner worlds and vivid imaginations, which fuel our creativity, passion, and ability to solve problems in unique ways: think J. K. Rowling, Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Rosa Parks, and Mahatma Gandhi, all famous introverts. The downside is, we may get stuck in our heads, overanalyzing and replaying events (both positive and negative) over and over in our minds.

14. We express our feelings sparingly. We may not gush with flowery words of love, and many introverts feel embarrassed by public displays of affection. We’d rather show that we care through our actions. Know that if you’re in our life, you matter to us. We don’t let just anyone in.

"You are terrifying and strange and beautiful. Something not everyone knows how to love." –Warsan Shire 

I’ve discovered that the biggest difference between introverts and extroverts is:  introverts accept extroverts as they are & don’t try to encourage them to act like introverts, and most introverts know that everyone is born being either an introvert or extrovert; extroverts believe there is something wrong with being an introvert, believe that introverts can change who they are & become extroverts, and therefore try to encourage introverts to be more like extroverts.  
To make this even more laughable, studies show that extroverts are the Minority of the population, coming in at only about 35%!  So, if we believe in “majority rule”, then guess who should do the changing?!….If they only could…

Accepting Yourself as an Introvert and Loving Your Inner Tortoise

By Ritu Kaushal

“We can’t underestimate the value of silence. We need to create ourselves, need to spend time alone. If you don’t, you risk not knowing yourself and not realizing your dreams.” ~Jewel

Tortoises are out of fashion. They are no longer the wise ones, taking one patient step after another, coming out victorious in the end. Today, they are the ones who can’t cross the road fast enough, the ones most likely to get hit by a car.

There is shame involved in being a tortoise.

And so I have spent a considerable chunk of my life trying to turn into an extroverted hare, coming up with rationalizations for why I am not, most definitely not, an introverted tortoise.

For one, I don’t move slowly. In fact, I love to dance. I am quick in perceiving and understanding what people say and mean. I am not slow-witted.

But these explanations don’t quite cover what it means to be a tortoise—how their rhythms are slow and deep, how they enjoy taking in the scenery instead of rushing past, how they need the shell that protects their most vulnerable, precious self.

As introverts, today, it’s easy for us to get alienated from our own nature because of the extrovert bias in the culture at large. So, how do we reconnect with and start celebrating ourselves? It starts with self-awareness and living our own truths.

The Way We Manage Energy

As opposed to extroverts who turn to other people to recharge and renew themselves, too much interaction saps our energy. Introverts turn inward and need quiet spaces to recharge. This is why we turn to nature, to prayer, to solitary hobbies.

We already know this from our own experience. What we often struggle with is the validity of this preference for time alone. I’ve wrestled with this too, thinking that there is something wrong with me if I am not excited about going to a party or socializing at the end of a hectic day.

It’s only recently that I’ve begun to let go of this internal dialogue. By going deeper into my own creativity—writing more, doing photography—I’ve realized that what I am actually lonely for is a connection with myself. When I’m taking a photograph, for example, I feel present and whole.

Engaging in activities that make us happy helps us focus on all that is right with us, instead of wondering whether we are faulty. 

As introverts, we need to start giving ourselves permission to go deeper into our own nature. If building legos, reading books, or watching birds gives us joy, that’s what we should be doing instead of going along with what other people think is fun.

It might be fun for them, but is it fun for us?

Another thing that I’ve learned is that although I need time alone, not all interactions affect my energy in the same way. While many social interactions leave me feeling depleted, there are some that have the opposite effect.  In her wonderful book, The Introvert’s Way, Sophia Dembling discusses this with Cognitive scientist Jennifer Grimes.

Grimes says that the real issue is not how much energy we put in a situation, but whether we get an adequate return on this energy investment.

She says, “There are people who like to invest a lot of energy and get a lot back. Some people don’t want to invest a lot and don’t expect a lot back. The people who are deemed the extroverts in pop literature, the people who are social butterflies, what they get back on an interpersonal level is sufficient for them.”

As introverts, we need to be aware of this. While small talk is draining for us, meaningful conversations are energizing. They require us to expend energy, but they also give us energy back.

Haven’t we all talked for hours about something we are passionate about, and been at a loss about what to say when we are talking politely with an acquaintance?

The Rhythms of Social Conversation

As an introvert, social conversations can be a challenge for me. I didn’t realize earlier that one of the reasons for this is the difference in the rhythms of how introverts and extroverts communicate.

When we are asked a question, introverts usually pause to think about it before replying. We need this space to formulate our answers. This is different from extroverts, who formulate their answers while talking.

Because of this difference, when we are silent, extroverts can perceive this as meaning that we have nothing to say and rush in with their own thoughts. And while they are talking, we can’t think. This dynamic renders introverts mute.

For me, understanding this has been extremely important. Instead of getting frustrated that I didn’t get a chance to speak, I’ve started responding differently. By showing the other person that I am still thinking by providing visual cues (like furrowing my brows), I hold my ground better in a conversation.

I’ve also started letting myself interrupt the other person. And in the case of those people who are extreme talkers, I’ve understood that it’s okay to disengage and simply walk away. By doing these things, I’ve created more space and freedom in my interactions.

While understanding this basic difference between extroverts and introverts is important, we also need to be aware of the mistakes we can inadvertently make in social situations. One of these is being too quiet in a new group setting. Introverts don’t realize that it is the silent person in the group who gains more and more power as the conversation goes on.

Elaine Aron talks about this dynamic in her wonderful book The Highly Sensitive Person. She says that if we remain silent in a new group, other people can be left wondering if we are judging them, unhappy about being part of the group, or even thinking of leaving the group. As a defence mechanism, the group might reject us before we have a chance to reject them.

So, in a new group, it becomes extremely important for introverts to communicate what they are thinking, even if it is just to say that we are happy to listen and will speak up when we have something to say.

The Focus on all That’s Right with Us

As introverts, most of us have heard messages about all the things that are wrong with us. We are too intense, too solitary, not fun enough. We may not have asked our own questions back.

What’s wrong with thinking deeply? What’s wrong with solitude? What’s wrong with enjoying one-on-one conversations instead of a big party? And fun according to whom?

Once we give ourselves permission to ask these questions, we can also start seeing our own strengths more clearly. What the culture considers an aberration is what makes the best part of us.

Thinking deeply gives us new insights. It helps us see new relationships between things. The solitude that we love is also the spring-board for our creativity. It gives us the chance to imagine and re-imagine our world.

Aren’t these all amazing things?

As introverts, connecting with our essence is what will help us actualize our talents. Not acting like an extrovert. I am sure it’s great to be a hare, but not if you are a tortoise.

I forgive you!!!

To you,

I don't know what makes you feel so uncomfortable about me sometimes,that all you want to do is to treat me like crap! See, when I do things, I do it from the bottom of my heart...there is noway I would want to waste my precious time, taking so much effort to make a birthday cake , merely to get good names. And ,what??? Good name? What kind of good name could I have earned that had brought you humiliation???? I don't quite get it for a long time...I dont wanna define that, but hey..that sounds like you are jealous of something ...and for that, SHAME ON YOU.

Coz,..you are supposed to be freaking proud of me..I grew up seeing you, and that had never once occurred to me as something to be ashamed of. I have always been proud to have followed your steps. ..and there you go...pooof! disclosing your filthy thoughts. And for once you can't appreciate the amount of effort I took to make you happy on your birthday...That's very....hmm...I dunno.

 If you would ever want to listen to me..., I..,had always a fantasy about my big sister.., and you have failed on every occasion to live up to that fantasy. Yes, It breaks my heart most of the time, but I still love you..., whether you are capable of letting me or not. Because as much as you have treated me like crap, I too have felt what it is like to have a second mother .When I hold your feet close to me, I could hear my own heart beat. 

So, Im forgiving you.

I,FORGIVE YOU. Big Sister!(looking away)

Things to understand about an "old Soul"..=)

1. Simplicity. It’s the simple things in life that capture us. Simple living and simple pleasures in life ground us and make us feel all warm and cozy inside. Extravagant dinners, jewelry, and sparkly gifts may be the key to some people’s hearts but not an old soul. Impressing us is so simple, it’s scary. An intimate conversation on the beach with a candle or a night of camping under the stars is like heaven on earth. Give us experiences and most of all, give us your time.
2. Alone time. Old souls are pretty intense, spiritual people. It’s not a facade or front we put up, but a lifestyle we live to stay connected to ourselves and to our spiritual path. Time to decompress, detach and meditate are crucial to our well being. So if we turn down an invite to a bar once in awhile, don’t take it personal. Instead, understand our need to be with ourselves because there is probably a reason we are needing some alone time.
3. Dreamer. As most people only dream when they sleep, we dream constantly. Daydream that is. Sometimes we need a partner to snap us back into reality, but also one who understands our dreaming is what excites us, dreaming inspires us.
4. Romantics. –ahh, sigh– We love romance and everything that comes with it. Sometimes, expecting a little too much from people trying to win our affections. This can cause some let downs and learning experiences for both partners. Old souls need someone that can pull them out from the clouds when needed and bring them back to a beautiful reality.
5. Comfort. I’ve always felt like the “grandma” of my friend group. Throwing on a big comfy sweater, staying in to cook dinner, and snuggling up while someone reads to me would be like, so amazing. Going out is good here and there, but know for us, being comfy with our significant other takes the cake.
6. Free bird. We want freedom. Freedom to chase whatever is worth chasing to us. Nothing holding us back or stopping us from pursuing our dreams and desires. Rather, someone who encourages us to chase and to succeed. Aside from longing for a stable and simple life, we want room to grow and follow whatever path our spirit is leading us on.
7. An unusual approach to life. Not really conforming to the expected way of living, we view the world and our lives as a blank book and we want to write it. I definitely have very philosophical views and it deeply effects all of my relationships. Being with someone who likes that about us is key!
8. Not-so material world.  Possessions and money are nice, but it is not number one for us. Intellectual conversations and meaningful experiences is what takes our breath away…
9. Intuition. You may hear this a lot from an old soul, “I don’t know, I just have this feeling.” Following our hearts more than our minds makes us a bit more in touch with our intuitive side. You can either go with the flow or turn and run, intuitive people can be a bit intimidating. It can be very daunting to some, to have an intuitive partner…especially if the significant other is trying to be sly. Good luck!
10. We’ve got dreams, big dreams. Idealistic dreams of painting the world like our very own canvas. Ending world hunger or starting a business that benefits people in some positive way is not far from an old souls list of lofty ideas. Helping mankind is on our dreamy To Do List!

I’m sure a lot of you out there can relate to some of these traits or have come across an old soul yourself. Maybe you’re realizing you are one…what qualities do you have that make you or your partner an Old Soul?

What real love looks like to me..

The truth can be simultaneously essential to one's life and nearly fatal. Knowingly accepting a lie and abandoning the search for the truth is a constant temptation but doing so sucks the passion right out of everything one does.

When our inner thoughts seem like being copyrighted...lol =D

No joke

I have a sleeping disorder which I cant explain nor resist. And that,..is NOT FUNNY. Not to blame you all, but seldom do we see the battle that is within another person. =) 

Sometimes, the least kind of a favour you can do for your parents , is to just take good care of yourself...You owe them nothing, but your life.

Tattoo - Jordin Sparks ( with lyrics )

Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You - Lyrics

When lyrics becomes personal....

You dont need bigger boobs. You need to read better books.=)

Wishing to see, but not be seen.

Forever grateful..

 Have you ever met someone who comes from nowhere to rescue you everytime...?..When it feels like he's the God's messenger..., comes with the right message at the right time? This man below....,is one of a kind...he's not just a lecturer, he's just beyond that...friendly,brotherly,fatherly...what more can I list. He has it all. He's the MAN.
And I can't never thank him enough.
You are one beautiful soul Sir. You must be a gift to the world.
The world needs more people like you.
=)

In Me.

I love my family and friends,and all those who have been a part of my life, even if only for awhile..., I love them so much...so damn much... Sometimes way too much,...like, you know..,I can eat them all alive (literally speaking).
I just dont know if they all actually know for real, how much I love them. I dont even know if they will ever get to know ...
But guess that does'nt matter. Afterall, Im never gonna say it out loud , This feeling of true love is indeed sacred...I would rather keep it to myself...deep, in me. In a box within,where nobody else can see or invade, but me. Safe and also protected. That way, I would be able to FEEL the emotion when it comes, and LET GO when it fades. Because I believe, love should have its limit. Too much love can sometimes be injuries to health....just as the saying goes,...
"To love at all, is to be vulnerable".

Rain Clouds in the sky, I Don't know why
They make me blue, when I'm thinking of you.
Maybe they want to cry, As I walk on by,
Hiding my tears, in a world of good byes.

Love during summer rain, Causes no pain
Cause I'm looking back, at you once again
Memories crowding my mind, You're one of a kind
Life with out love, I'm helpless I'm dying.

Rain drops and dance, strange kind of romance
I don't know why,whether to cry out loud,
But I'm feeling fine,Watch the rhythm of the 
rain falling down.

Rain falling around, Its just the sound
I like to here, when my hearts feeling down

Try to smile once again, As they slash in my window pain
I quite like that, I don't mind
I've got no complaint.

It's just so hard to be able to do things at the right time.., I am easily distracted by the bed because I have been so tired recently. I wonder why.. old age must be catching up with me. Fuh.

Choose LIFE. =)

There was a thing that i wanted to state over here for a long time...i was hesitating too much and on the other hand, procrastination took control of me. Here I am, atleast now...to say things before its too late.

So, here's the thing....I have been coming across quite a number of deaths this year..,like its so usual already to get a bad news to ruin our days...2014 was a tragic year just not to Malaysians...
We all are put into the needing to grief...and then, the world will just not stop a moment for our grieves.....and finally, when it all hurts too much..,,we get too tired of fighting..we let go..and accept the fact.. and move on...
Sometimes I wonder....could there be any reason at all for why these miseries have to happen? I mean what is the point of some people  having to die even before they start to live?... Kids and babies..and Gosh..
Like...if there could be any answer at all, for why the hell is the universe so screwed up, random and mean...., I really need to know. I think we all deserve an explaination.


Now.., am I here to grief? No.
The world has grieved enough. Nothing changes though. Every new person that walks into your life today, is just another life to lose along the way.. We are left with no option then to keep moving on.






















The thing is...how we react to the loss. We all have been saying this word.."rest in peace" when somebody dies. Yes...it definitely means something ..not to the death, but the descendants. The fact that the death have gone to a better place called heaven ,can bring a little comfort to the broken hearts who are left behind.
 ...but as i was thinking so hard how i want the end of my life to be..,,heaven is not some other place I would want to go to...like, it is not where I go to, heaven is where I came from.
I was created in the belly of an angel , I grew up here with beautiful souls around me , died a little here and there, struggled ,but learned something out of it, appreciated every little details about life and felt so grateful for everything that ever happened to me. It is the world that taught me things and IT IS THIS WORLD that has given me the best of my life. The arms of my loved ones is where I felt heaven.No matter how cruel, screwed up, random and mean the Earth was seen by my own eyes, sometimes....still, Earth could be my only heaven.  I died here. But I also LIVED here.. and not just lived, I certainly lived to the fullest here,even if i were to die tomorrow, I have no regrets at all. Life did me good. With such a contentment to life I was gifted with..,, I dont think they could be a better place than where im standing now.
But because death is of no compromise when it has to occur to somebody, it is the belief system of the descendants that matters after....death is just something that has to happen. But its not the end of everythg..like "game over" kinda stuff..



Death can never do us apart. Its not the "death" that actually kills somebody, it is the belief of the rest of us who are living that really kills a person.  Death may occur to me..., but I do not want to be killed in the mind of my loved ones.The memories alone can keep a person alive. If you believe deeply and truly that Im still living, I really will. The moment you let yourself to believe im dead, and then im just dead. Really DEAD. And then dont put the blame on God..., he was'nt the murderer. You are.XD
I may look like putting up a sheer sentimental piece of drama here...lol..I felt that for myself infact...,but no..,i just wanted to speak my mind clearly and state things while I still can breath.
Someday, one of you might see this and i might have been taken away by then...and you'll know what to do to get me living.

Becoz nowhere ,but THIS, is my HEAVEN.














p/s: I may sound so freaking serious about the above matter,...but guess what??..Not like what you think.This is just an after-effect of me playing "dumb ways to die"...Lol XD



and now I hear you saying IDIOT ..Lol .Make it not sound so loud pls. =)

getting both sweethearts in one picture...=)

Coldplay - Fix You

feeling empowered....

Anybody, ANYBODY can fall in love and be blindly happy about it...,but not everybody can strive to take responsibility and  save a life. I have visioned myself to be not just a successful  pharmacist, but to live a purposeful life. A life that would bring meaning to another. 
I was brought up to be an extraordinary human being. So imagine my mother's disappointment after all this years she has spent her life trying to be an inspiration for us,
if one final day..., she's gonna discover that I am no more than ordinary. 
I shall never allow that to happen. I am no ordinary person.
 NO ORDINARY. Period.

FB updated...And I don't make apologies for having a different opinion.=)

We all are God’s creation. Our body is a temple itself. Then, how could bleeding for a woman be called “impure”, when it’s the blood which forms a life? One awkward thing about religion is that it is so much based on practices, that it would be sinful for anybody to have a different opinion. It is infact, when your hormones are making you feel less confident than usual, like a wreck, so vulnerable that you doubt how you’re going to get through the day..,it is the best time to pray and give one’s spirit a lift. Prayer is a personal relationship with God. It is humans who sometimes do not accept another human. God accepts his children at all time, no matter in what condition they are.

Im clearly of no intention to disrespect anybody’s belief here. Believing in myths is a personal preference. You don’t have the need to agree with me , but my point is that, please do not confuse real FAITH with religion, rituals & practices. They are not the same. 

— feeling positive.

P/S:  If you are someone who restricts another from reaching God,, just because the person is having her menses ..cause of your insensible mentality that she is impure or like the person is committing a sin......

3 words for you......

SHAME ON YOU.

We all have that one story in our lives, that you would know for certain, if you had survived that, you would survive anything. # realtalk  =)

And so I decided to walk away, smiling. At times, pretending nothing has ever given an impact is the best choice to opt, isn't it?  =)

Dear Stress, let's break up...X£

The world is so screwed up that everybody have atleast one problem to deal with....and then, 
there is Me.

And now that im posting this here, you'd know im still alive buddy..=)

*I would like to thank a friend of mine, Mr.Theva, for reminding me that I ONCE HAD a blog and that I was supposed to update something and not abandon like this. =)

And this is like, the biggest "update" I could make for now...Lol.