Its a sad thing that I have no enough time to update my blog with all that which are worth mentioning....Recently, myspace here has been occupied with lots of tweets and all these amazing quotations copy pasted from other sources...That's exactly being PATHETIC all about. lol =) 
So much to record down in this diary of mine,but I've no idea where to start and where to end. I owe a HISTORY to my blog. I just hope I won't forget all  those beautiful moments of my life, by the time I have the freaking TIME .

So at all,
this is a tweet again.

I dare you tell me if there could be anything more sweeter than this.......???? =)

A Rhino story...=p

We can't make a rhino see what we could see,because no matter how much you describe the real scenery...his horn is still a part of everything he sees.
Just like how some people carry their insecurities everywhere they go and try to fit it into another person's story. 

And when we get to see the outcome,
All we could do is to awe in disbelief.
Like....,

LOL XD

Dear You,
The LAST HALF of your post about me is the best part that I've ever seen.Thank you.=)
But,
If only you'd take a moment to realise...,
I have never left you, and I am not leaving you....
But, YOU ARE CONSTANTLY LEAVING ME. 

p/s: Im only responsible for what I say, not what you understand.=)

Lol XD true that..

oh yea..=)

May all our dreams blossom...=)

HAVING to change,and WANTING to change are actually two very different things....just like,being AWARE of your crap and OVERCOMING your crap.

So,for a new year that is to come...these are my wishes for all of you and myself :

~ Lets all change for a better person ...
~ Lets forget all the mistakes made, forgive ourselves but remember the lessons.

~ Lets all make brand new mistakes . Make glorious, amazing mistakes.Make mistakes nobody ever made before,and choose to grow up even more.

~ Lets don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: Friends, love, or work or family or life!!!

~Lets beat the fears by facing whatever that comes.

~  Lets allow ourselves only to grief so that at a point, we can move on.., and not grief  for the entire life.
~ Lets enjoy life,while we still have .=)

My resolution:
 Focus more on studies.I certainly want it to happen,not just by words.I did all this while, but that has never been enough.People say you'll need to sacrifice certain things inorder to achieve something...,even if it means to be really heartless and selfish sometimes . 

So,this year...im gonna be this selfish person who chases her dreams like, hell,who cares what other's are thinking?..I wanna have the fire...,and be unstoppable. I want to be better than anybody in the entire Pharmacy program....,There are no teams,no buddies...its just Me,Myself and I .For a change,I want to be on my own,I want to learn to survive all by my own. 

And of course, to be such ,it has its own price...perhaps, I will have to dissappoint my own people due to the little time I spend with them. But I believe those who matter would'nt mind, and whoever mind ,does'nt matter anyway.=)

In the end,it is me who'd be calling the shots...and at that time when I have achieved what I exactly wanted..,I owe lotsa appreciation to the ones who really did'nt mind,because they atleast BELIEVED in me.=)
Last but not least, incase of mission fail...then this resolution will be again forwarded to next year. lol XD
Isn't that what happens everytime??? =p

HAVE A GREAT YEAR AHEAD PEOPLE...& LETS ALL TOGETHER HAVE THE FIRE TOWARDS 2014!

p/s: My heartfelt thanks to all who I call them friends and family.If it were'nt because of you people...,my life would'nt be this AWESOME.=)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

A great saying quoted by a Fb friend of mine....,
" Relationship Status: Too much love is injurious to health hence fighting."
Lol xD..I could'nt agree more.
Have a beautiful year ahead friends. =)

Current addiction..

She has such a beautiful voice,isn't she? A mellifluous and soul stirring song..

How different is ego from dignity???? If I say NO just so that I don't get trampled upon,is 

it feeding one's ego or protecting self-dignity?

# Use it right

People always come up with so-called trends, which are quite annoying and infuriating to non-trendy person like me.Sometimes.Wait no,MOST OF THE TIMES.

Can anybody please help me to understand, why in world do people have to Hash tag almost everything they are saying  in Fb?..Perhaps it does serve a purpose in Twitter...Bt,whats with Fb for goodness sake?,..

Seriously,what could possibly be a reason for a person putting up an hash between each of their words like...I mean,c'mon..its not even making their statements fancy or something...it's just causing EYE SORE to some of us, really.Duh!

Or..it is that these are people who try to seek out attention for no good reason..? I don't know. Perhaps there's some extra excitement in letting others to crack their heads trying to figure out.......................................

But ,for whatever reason.,if you are one of those who does that, and your aim is to become famous by getting more likes for your apparently creative-looking sentences...then, let me tell you this...,

people get well-known for the things that they do outside of the social media, not because they could write up the longest hashtagged comments/posts in Fb. =)

#I#beg#you#STOP#HASHTAGGING#coz#dat#drives#me#crazy#just#not#literally##

“Hate the sin, love the sinner.”
 
― Mahatma Gandhi

Guess, that is exactly what I'm doing now. =)

When someone who can even make fun of the most serious thing and never seen getting angry before, Suddenly gets angry for a reason...Thats, EXTRAORDINARY.

My reaction: Yean anne kovampadure???? LOL XD

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have a great day people =)

At the moment........,
it feels as if Im drowning,
Deep into the sea.....




and I just CAN'T
B-R-E-A-T-H.........

God...,help me.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Things are'nt coming on my way these days...,but seriously,sitting and brooding isn't going to help me in anyway,right??>. 
I am responsible for my own life and I can never blame anybody else for my dysfunction.Guess I've taken a complete control of myself now...and there are many more ahead for me to LET GO.I need to move out from this comfort zone.
Its awkward
Its something uncomfortable to begin with.
But I've made  a decision to  move on and fight against all. 
Therefore, I don’t care how hard this is, I don’t care how disappointed I am, I’m not going to let this get the best of me. 

I’m moving on.And one day,I'll be there.
=)
~feeling determined =)

--------------------------------------------

I draw people. I draw them out because I like them that much.I choose to draw them because when the time comes where I can't handle things on my own,or I've been diagnosed with Alzheimer's....that time where I don't recognise even myself anymore,...I'd look at my drawings and know that I've actually loved these people...THAT MUCH.
 =)

Feeling good....=)

That one moment when you feel life is so blissful,and everything around you seem so positive...like there's nothing that you can't achieve, nothing that you can't overcome...,nothing that can hurt or annoy you, nothing can break or scare you....just NOTHING.
Nothing is negative. 
You know, just ...
you feel so good and happy about everything. 
That..., GREAT feeling.
That....., EUPHORIC stage, 
a cup of coffee dragged me into.

So,this is basically COFFEE SPEAKING.  Lol

Fess up,when you mess up. =(

Im such a terrible,horrible person sometimes. How can I use such word on someone who means so much to me..You call "things"as shitty, never on a person.
FINE.I was angry for a reason.But,that does'nt make me right.
Lesson learnt.
Note to self: Watch your language.*Face palm*

Wish i could tell like this,but not kind enough...=p

True that!!! lol =D

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Self-pity is one way towards self-destruction.So,the next time you come across a problem,stop feeling sorry for yourself.Instead ,give a self-knock on the head and remember that people have BIGGER problems...
~Copyright reserved~ =)

..........

If at all a person can't make it,why not atleast die in a better way...?...[sigh]

Get well soon.=)

Dear Mr.Wira,  

I'm missing you too badly..It has been almost 1 months I never see you.And you know well enough how weird and incomplete is home without you at the porch.They told me you're too damaged this time...the thought of you being sick is making me sick as well. No words can describe how much we love you. You've always been our protector and we owe you nothing,but our lives.

And there's NO way a HERO can give up so easily...,so, stand up, fix up your broken pieces, boost yourself and come home strong back again.
Your family is waiting to see you.
Get well soon.

Im a survivor..=)

I went through a miserable week....and I thought I might just collapes at anytime. I feared,I was depressed. Too many things to handle at the same time...

1)Assignments, reports,Vivas,Tests, Quiz,extra classes to finish up sylabbus..GosH,..too exhausting,I nearly nod off just thinking about it.

2) Heart failure seemed imminent when I first heard about Thambi.Still grieving on his loss. To put this aside and focus on studies...,hardest thing to do for this week.

3) Tonsil pain screwed me all over again.

4) Sleepless nights.

5) Too much writing resulted in neck strain,too much coffee resulted in stomach cramp.

6) Home is a mess now coz of the renovation and I wish could be there to help out.Mum isn't feeling well lately.

7) Final is starting next week ..the stress is just overwhelming.

Accomplishment:

 I survived this week. 

Yes,it was like hell. But,I still came out of it ALIVE.

A self-pat-on-the-shoulder..,I'm Strong.=)

Lesson learnt:

Everyone of us have our own problems.And most of it are nothing compared to that of many others.Merely complaining about it,solves none.

Sometimes,the best is to keep it all to ourselves and belief that we finally can get through it no matter how though it seem. And the only way to beat fear is to face it. 

Once Ms.Peter,my chemistry teacher in F6 told me,If we choose to avoid or run away from a problem,we'll have to keep running away for the rest of our life. And now,I understand..its true. GROWTH is most painful when we resist it.

Somethings are beyond our understanding. Often,we are left asking "Why??",and for these things,there seem to be no answers. Called it a divine plan,call it the natural unfolding of events,it is happening. Whether we like  it or  hate it,it is still happening.Sometimes,we take responsibility and sometimes we claim ourselves a victim,we fight it or we ignore it.... but it still happens. And it has been happening throughout of our lifes...We just can't stop it from happening. Above all,what matters is that,how we choose to take these things. 

Every event has the potential to transfrom us.Be it a disaster.

We face the challenge. And we come out alive.

And we become the best of philosopher ever then..lol xD

# 3 more weeks to go..,I believe I can get through it and then,that too will pass. =)

RIP Elanggovan@Thambi..

Guard slashed to death by masked men

By DESIREE TRESA GASPER
desiree@thestar.com.my

JOHOR BARU: A security guard manning his post at a neighbourhood here was slashed to death by a group of masked men armed with parang.

S. Elanggovan, 19, was chatting with his friend, known only as Vino, in Bukit Indah 2 at around 4.30am yesterday when the men drove up in a black MyVi.

They darted towards Elanggovan and Vino and started to slash them.

Vino, 32, is now fighting for his life at a hospital here.

He had managed to run away from the attack but Elanggovan fell while trying to escape and was slashed repeatedly on his head and body.

He died on the spot in front of a row of shops along Jalan Bukit Indah 25/1. The assailants then fled in their car.

A relative of the victim, who only wanted to be known as Shan, said that the family was at its wits’ end as to why the men were attacked.

“Elanggovan had told us two days ago that he had stopped to check a group of men who were circling the Bukit Indah 2 area,” he said.

Nusajaya OCPD Supt Noor Hashim Mohamad said that police were investigating the incident.

So,what the hell is wrong with people????????????????LIFE...,has gone thaatt easy?

You know,sometimes..I wish the world could have just ended in 2012. 

p/s: Thambi, though I don't know you any personally, I would tell you...you are one person who are loved by many... I don't think my brother will ever forget how you were to him...You both were so gayish towards each other....=)

" Mohan anne...,I miss you ne..Dn't leave me,Pls....I lub u so much,,..MMuuuuaaahhxx!!!(kissed bro's cheek while acting like sobbing)"

Bro: "I lub u too bee !" 

Me: Yeeeeuuuuwwwww.Gays! (disgusted)

So fresh in my mind.

You left just like that,too much for us all to bear.

The first time I met you, you were that very hardworking boy at 19 ,I  always felt proud looking at you.

You don't deserve this.Really.

RIP Thambi.

Good grief, Sandra.

I have a lot issues to talk about,but then again, out of a sudden...I think blog is no longer a safer place to pour out everything....yeah,PEOPLE....they only listen to what they want to hear,and only see what they want to see.

Mother..,we define for ourselves.

So,we all busy appreciating our own mothers in FB and we forgot that there are some who have no idea who on Earth is their mother...
and we busy talking about how much we are loved and how much our mothers have sacrified for us...,forgetting that there's someone who always wondered why their mother did'nt want to own them.
Being trashed like a rubbish, or sent to orphanage or being abused.....you know.

For these people, on this special day...I pray that you'll never have to feel unfair about life and that you too have someone,something that been a reason for why you did'nt want to give up on life. That someone who always made you want to live.Be it your wife,your daughter,a friend or even a pet. 
It does'nt matter actually. A mother does'nt always have to be a women or the person whose belly you came from.
Just a person . Who can provide you the love and when you look into their eyes,you know that this person is someone who is worth living for.And with these people around, who shaped and nurtured you to become who you are today....,appreciate them and love them with all your heart. For...they are your MOTHER.........=)

My heartfelt wishes for all mothers out there..
HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY.

And here goes the superwoman...,
the one reason why I never taught of giving up in my life....=)

MOM-ENTOUS MOM-ENTS...........

A good life,a good death.

Departured with dignity.

¬RIP  Periappa.

(09/05/13)

Uncles....

Was waiting for bus as usual,got completely showered by heavy rain...and another encounter.
A discern looking,with a formal wearing Indian man of about forty  approached me.

Man: Excuse me gal.....
Me: Yes.
Man: Any bus going to Jln.Ipoh here?
Me: Ya,..you can take Metro11 or U6. Just wait right here.
Man: Oh ok,thank you.
Me: [shook my head]

After about 15 mins....
Man: So,you are a student?
Me: I am.
Man: You are wet.Forgot to bring your umbrella?
Me: Exactly.
Man: Just thought of asking you something....Would you like to join a "Beauty Competition"??
[which i heard as "DJ Competition"..,having my ear-piece on]

Me: What?"DJ competition"?
Man: No,beauty competition.Im owning a saree company and currently we are organising this event and looking for preety girls as models.
Me[ in head]: Lol.xD .has he looked close enough at my face????Must be kidding.#

Me: Oh ok....sorry uncle,im not interested.
Man: why not? Just give a try..I notice you have beautiful, attractive eyes and nice body shape...im sure you'll look good in saree.Between,don't call me uncle.Im still young.
Me [in head]: Oh man.,you are flirting??? 
                      I wish I can tell you what my shoe size is.

Me: No thx, UNCLE,Not interested still.Anyway,my father is waiting for me on the other side.I go to go now.
Man: Wait,not so fast.I don't want to miss you.[with an annoying smile]
Me: Bye. [walked off with a sarcastic smile]

The requestion is......
What is it, that make Uncles want to be dirty with  daughter-like girls???? 
GOSH.
PERVERTS.

For a better Malaysia..

I don't think it's right to say that the previous government didn't improve out lives a little They definitely did. Its just the corruption.
We should'nt allow ourselves to be spoon fed in everything.It makes us not to work hard to improve our lives.

But the struggle that a parent has to go through to put their children in universities,..I think in most cases...,we children are all they have left in the end.
I ain't asking for a free education.Education has a VALUE.

I'm just asking for 100% PTPTN loan.
Now,Is that too much to ask for?

No party is PERFECT. So who am I voting for????????????????

¬PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL. =)

I've forgotten what it is like to have a normal sleeping pattern.Gosh!..At the moment,I can die of stress. Rescue me God.

Lesson learnt

 

Last week, I was on my way back from my hostel,and experienced something that I shall be shamed of...
As I was waiting for my bus at lebuh Ampang,there was a midle-aged India man,who walked across me with a stick and  glasses on his eyes...He was blind indeed.
I ignored him at first,but could'nt get my eyes of him as he was nearing a divider,then a drain...I thought I should lend him a hand,but there were many others who pretended they never see him. I hesitated for a while,trying to figure out what possibilities could take place:

1) He might be acting ( which i noe is very cruel to think such way)
2) He might just snatch my bag and fleed when I try to assist him. (the world is no longer a safe place)
3) What if he splash acid on me? (which seems like an utterly ridiculous thing to say in this case)
4) Even if I were to help him,the society ain't gonna think good of me. Perhaps,they would label me as an attention seeker and that im trying to create a scene. (what more he's an indian).

My mind was so busy wondering if I shall help or not...but I could'nt make myself move still.
He was too close to the drain by then..For a moment,my chest freezed,ached for breath.
This time,I could'nt resist the urge to make my first step...but before I could proceed..there was this another man from I don't know which corner,got a grip of the blind man's hand and rescued him from the danger.
Guiltiness eluded me.
 What if everybody else were thinking like how i did? and  What if the poor man fell meanwhile, i was still hesitating? Could I have slept peacefully at night?  How could I be so selfish and simple-minded at that time when someone needed help.That was like so inhumane ...,.to care about what others will think of me. I should'nt have cared.

I'm not sure if I wud have taken my next stepS at that instant. Im just glad that someone else did. 
There are still some good souls existing here and there in this world. 
~ FORGIVE ME GOD.

A lie,is a lie.

Some people lie so much till they start believing in their own made-up stories. Amazing,yet...be it big,small,or a white lie.....a lie is a lie.
I can forgive and I can forget.But I'll remember just one thing. I'll remember not to trust a SHRINK again...
coz,you are'nt messing with someone who have trusted you,but one who would WANT to trust you no matter what. I think there's a vast difference in these.

Sadly,this time I'm ain't expecting you to understand this either...coz if you could,you first lie would have been the last.

p/s: If you have the heart to lie to someone,pls do not tell that you love them with all your heart.Coz.........

 

It is static when one remain rooted in their beliefs. No calls,no messaging,no chatting,....means End of Friendship?
SICK.
GBU.