Wishing to see, but not be seen.

Forever grateful..

 Have you ever met someone who comes from nowhere to rescue you everytime...?..When it feels like he's the God's messenger..., comes with the right message at the right time? This man below....,is one of a kind...he's not just a lecturer, he's just beyond that...friendly,brotherly,fatherly...what more can I list. He has it all. He's the MAN.
And I can't never thank him enough.
You are one beautiful soul Sir. You must be a gift to the world.
The world needs more people like you.
=)

In Me.

I love my family and friends,and all those who have been a part of my life, even if only for awhile..., I love them so much...so damn much... Sometimes way too much,...like, you know..,I can eat them all alive (literally speaking).
I just dont know if they all actually know for real, how much I love them. I dont even know if they will ever get to know ...
But guess that does'nt matter. Afterall, Im never gonna say it out loud , This feeling of true love is indeed sacred...I would rather keep it to myself...deep, in me. In a box within,where nobody else can see or invade, but me. Safe and also protected. That way, I would be able to FEEL the emotion when it comes, and LET GO when it fades. Because I believe, love should have its limit. Too much love can sometimes be injuries to health....just as the saying goes,...
"To love at all, is to be vulnerable".

Rain Clouds in the sky, I Don't know why
They make me blue, when I'm thinking of you.
Maybe they want to cry, As I walk on by,
Hiding my tears, in a world of good byes.

Love during summer rain, Causes no pain
Cause I'm looking back, at you once again
Memories crowding my mind, You're one of a kind
Life with out love, I'm helpless I'm dying.

Rain drops and dance, strange kind of romance
I don't know why,whether to cry out loud,
But I'm feeling fine,Watch the rhythm of the 
rain falling down.

Rain falling around, Its just the sound
I like to here, when my hearts feeling down

Try to smile once again, As they slash in my window pain
I quite like that, I don't mind
I've got no complaint.

It's just so hard to be able to do things at the right time.., I am easily distracted by the bed because I have been so tired recently. I wonder why.. old age must be catching up with me. Fuh.

Choose LIFE. =)

There was a thing that i wanted to state over here for a long time...i was hesitating too much and on the other hand, procrastination took control of me. Here I am, atleast now...to say things before its too late.

So, here's the thing....I have been coming across quite a number of deaths this year..,like its so usual already to get a bad news to ruin our days...2014 was a tragic year just not to Malaysians...
We all are put into the needing to grief...and then, the world will just not stop a moment for our grieves.....and finally, when it all hurts too much..,,we get too tired of fighting..we let go..and accept the fact.. and move on...
Sometimes I wonder....could there be any reason at all for why these miseries have to happen? I mean what is the point of some people  having to die even before they start to live?... Kids and babies..and Gosh..
Like...if there could be any answer at all, for why the hell is the universe so screwed up, random and mean...., I really need to know. I think we all deserve an explaination.


Now.., am I here to grief? No.
The world has grieved enough. Nothing changes though. Every new person that walks into your life today, is just another life to lose along the way.. We are left with no option then to keep moving on.






















The thing is...how we react to the loss. We all have been saying this word.."rest in peace" when somebody dies. Yes...it definitely means something ..not to the death, but the descendants. The fact that the death have gone to a better place called heaven ,can bring a little comfort to the broken hearts who are left behind.
 ...but as i was thinking so hard how i want the end of my life to be..,,heaven is not some other place I would want to go to...like, it is not where I go to, heaven is where I came from.
I was created in the belly of an angel , I grew up here with beautiful souls around me , died a little here and there, struggled ,but learned something out of it, appreciated every little details about life and felt so grateful for everything that ever happened to me. It is the world that taught me things and IT IS THIS WORLD that has given me the best of my life. The arms of my loved ones is where I felt heaven.No matter how cruel, screwed up, random and mean the Earth was seen by my own eyes, sometimes....still, Earth could be my only heaven.  I died here. But I also LIVED here.. and not just lived, I certainly lived to the fullest here,even if i were to die tomorrow, I have no regrets at all. Life did me good. With such a contentment to life I was gifted with..,, I dont think they could be a better place than where im standing now.
But because death is of no compromise when it has to occur to somebody, it is the belief system of the descendants that matters after....death is just something that has to happen. But its not the end of everythg..like "game over" kinda stuff..



Death can never do us apart. Its not the "death" that actually kills somebody, it is the belief of the rest of us who are living that really kills a person.  Death may occur to me..., but I do not want to be killed in the mind of my loved ones.The memories alone can keep a person alive. If you believe deeply and truly that Im still living, I really will. The moment you let yourself to believe im dead, and then im just dead. Really DEAD. And then dont put the blame on God..., he was'nt the murderer. You are.XD
I may look like putting up a sheer sentimental piece of drama here...lol..I felt that for myself infact...,but no..,i just wanted to speak my mind clearly and state things while I still can breath.
Someday, one of you might see this and i might have been taken away by then...and you'll know what to do to get me living.

Becoz nowhere ,but THIS, is my HEAVEN.














p/s: I may sound so freaking serious about the above matter,...but guess what??..Not like what you think.This is just an after-effect of me playing "dumb ways to die"...Lol XD



and now I hear you saying IDIOT ..Lol .Make it not sound so loud pls. =)

getting both sweethearts in one picture...=)

Coldplay - Fix You

feeling empowered....

Anybody, ANYBODY can fall in love and be blindly happy about it...,but not everybody can strive to take responsibility and  save a life. I have visioned myself to be not just a successful  pharmacist, but to live a purposeful life. A life that would bring meaning to another. 
I was brought up to be an extraordinary human being. So imagine my mother's disappointment after all this years she has spent her life trying to be an inspiration for us,
if one final day..., she's gonna discover that I am no more than ordinary. 
I shall never allow that to happen. I am no ordinary person.
 NO ORDINARY. Period.

FB updated...And I don't make apologies for having a different opinion.=)

We all are God’s creation. Our body is a temple itself. Then, how could bleeding for a woman be called “impure”, when it’s the blood which forms a life? One awkward thing about religion is that it is so much based on practices, that it would be sinful for anybody to have a different opinion. It is infact, when your hormones are making you feel less confident than usual, like a wreck, so vulnerable that you doubt how you’re going to get through the day..,it is the best time to pray and give one’s spirit a lift. Prayer is a personal relationship with God. It is humans who sometimes do not accept another human. God accepts his children at all time, no matter in what condition they are.

Im clearly of no intention to disrespect anybody’s belief here. Believing in myths is a personal preference. You don’t have the need to agree with me , but my point is that, please do not confuse real FAITH with religion, rituals & practices. They are not the same. 

— feeling positive.

P/S:  If you are someone who restricts another from reaching God,, just because the person is having her menses ..cause of your insensible mentality that she is impure or like the person is committing a sin......

3 words for you......

SHAME ON YOU.